By Shikha Tailang

(AI generated translation of लाइफबॉय से नहाए क्या?) 

He is coming! He is arriving! Spray perfume! Open the deo bottle!

What did you think after hearing these voices? Are preparations being made to welcome a VIP?

No, no! You misunderstood! One should not draw any conclusion by listening to half-baked things!

Now pay attention to these voices—

Keep a handkerchief on the nose, otherwise there is a danger of fainting!

Did you understand anything? Is some stinking creature about to come?

Such voices used to come every day at around 2 o’clock in the company’s office. These voices used to come when a gentleman used to go for duty! As soon as he entered the office, there used to be a commotion all around and it was natural for this to happen. Because the gentleman who used to come to the office used to be drenched in sweat! He used to be almost panting. Sweat used to be dripping on the forehead and face. Both the shirt and the pants used to not get washed for many days. White spots used to appear on him at various places. Neither his clothes were ironed nor his hair was combed! This was the appearance of our close friend Ranga Babu! He had joined this company only a month ago and in such a short time he had become infamous in the entire office due to his habit of being untidy and dirty!

Some used to call him Aghori. Some used to call him Kumbhakarna’s relative! Whoever met him used to meet him with a handkerchief on his nose and looking left and right. What to do, no one could tolerate the bad smell coming from his body.

So Ranga Babu was very hardworking and interesting! Various stories were popular about the bad smell coming from his body. Some used to say that the boss is so busy that he does not think of anything except work! He gets so engrossed in work that he forgets to know what kind of bad smell is coming from his body. One of our colleagues had spread the rumour about him that Ranga Babu Ji is only fond of eating and drinking. He likes to spend on food, not on soap! Another colleague Rajan Bhattacharya Ji used to say that he must be eating Chingdi Machh every day. That is why he smells like cauliflower!

Sukriti, who sits next to us, saw a distortion in his mind. She used to say – I don’t know! Why does Ranga Babu behave like this? I had heard that in his childhood he fell from the cot due to which his leg got hurt and he lost his mind. He does not even know whether it is Tuesday or Wednesday! He just goes home late at night and gets into bed and gets so tired due to work that he loses his senses and the next day just at the time of office opening, he wakes up and comes wearing the same clothes again. Now whoever smells bad, let them smell, he does not care.

I said – Ranga Babu is very cool otherwise. His looks are good but his habit of being untidy makes me feel that he should get married soon. So that his wife can reform him and at least he can come to the office in properly ironed and washed clothes.

Bhattacharya – People think that Corona will be the solution. Either we will have to find a woman for him or we will have to give him a job to wash his clothes.

Sukriti-Corona and other such things are long gone! Now I am worried about how much will my deo cost this month. When this gentleman’s arrival is announced, I spray 100 ml of deo around me and sit down so that his smell reaches my nose as little as possible!

(To be contd. …)