Writer: Pallavi Tripathi , Durg

You have left. I have moved on. Some parts of me still dwell in the past. They just are too stubborn to move on. I started dating Manik. He’s not like you. He’s dominating and very manly unlike you. But I can be honest with him. Yet you can see me talking back to you I haven’t gotten over you. I often reflect on you, what went wrong, and how I could have prevented it. You see the part of my heart which held you remain vacant, empty, a reminder that I can’t be whole until I cut that part out or fill it with something else. So far, I have failed to do either.

My parents are a little worried about me as I can’t seem to focus on my career. I’m an architect. I’m worried about me too. All things bring me back in time. Is that what they call living in nostalgia? Or is it the other condition that I’m not aware of? Seeking a skilled psychiatrist for potential assistance. Until then, I must handle everything and keep things on track by myself. That shouldn’t be a problem though. Heart-break is our national anthem, we sing it proudly.

I thought watching classics and acclaimed films will turn me into a wiser person, but my problems are still there, my insecurities are still there. It has only made me realise we don’t discuss our problems ourselves and we have an innate need to share them with someone, as if that’ll solve it. It seldom happens, but that’s just how humans are. We love to record things, we even live in those recordings more than we live in present. It’s a strange paradox.

Everything’s going right then. Someone plays a song and I’m reminded of us. Those lyrics take me back to you. I chat with someone new and anticipating their replies takes me back to us. It’s like I’m a puppet and the strings being pulled belong to you, your memories, you’re present still in these time capsules I keep running into. I need to detox myself from you. 

(IMAGENARY STORY/To be contd…)